Third grade compliments

Today I went to school feeling like I have pneumonia. I am coughing and was up most of the night. But, I thought I would go in the morning and come home in the afternoon as my kids have "specials" from 12:30-2:00 on Mondays. ( Of course, that means on Tuesday we don't have any.) Anyway, I got a hair cut this weekend. A much overdue haircut. My hair had been looking pretty fuzzy and I was out of make-up and getting my make-up out of the jar with a Q-tip.I got new foundation,blush, and eyeshadow this weekend. This morning my kids came in the room and all of them commented on my haircut. I had just washed and combed it because I didn't feel like fixing it so it looked OK but not fixed. One of my boys that I call my "grandstudent" said "Teacher, you look like you did in the picture my mom has of you when you were her teacher." I asked if that was a good thing and he said yes. All of the teachers had told me I was pale and my eyes were swollen but one of my girls came in and said, "Teacher you look beautiful." Well, that was worth going to school for. Then every time I would cough, one of my boys would get this very concerned look on his face and ask if I was OK and did I need him to get anything for me. They are so sweet. (Remind me of this later.)

There ought to be a law

I am listening to the morning news programs this morning as we have our winter break today. Yep. We get one whole day. A Friday to boot. Anyway, I just saw some group of "professionals" who are offering to watch the octuplets and their six siblings for free. What about people who have 3 kids and don't know how to take care of them and they live in the middle of nowhere instead of California. I have so many parents who would benefit from someone offering to watch their kids and give them physical therapy and speech therapists and language specialist and educational advice. They could use someone to give them clothes and nutrition help, not only advice but food. These "angels" are offering this help in a clean place that they provide and the mother can be there too. Why do you have to be totally irresponsible to get all this help? They reward her for doing something she planned and thought out... for a long time...that she knew she did not have the resources to carry out. In cases like the Duggars? from Arkansas, where they have 18 kids and seem to be able to provide for their kids, at least the basic care, then go ahead and have kids but in cases like this, she deserves to have them taken away. We have laws about puppy mills but not about people like this. We go in and raid and take the puppies and dogs and give them to loving homes that are researched and approved, yet here are 14 children with a mother, and only a mother, that doesn't know how to take care of them and has no common sense or money. She is still in school for Pete's sake. There are so many homes that are able and want children, that I say give them to loving homes. She can have visitation. I know this is not politically correct thinking. When I turned 30 years old and was not married but wanted a baby more than anyone knows, I thought about having a baby. But.. I am a teacher that lives a long ways from my family and support group. I did not at that time have a lot of extra money. I did have a friend who said he would give me the needed material to have a baby. But after much thought I decided that raising a child in a single parent home purposely, and not having the money to provide extra care, and knowing that I would have to work full time all the time to make it work, was not a responsible choice. I did not go through with the procedure and thus, I do not have a child. Did I want to? Yes, very much. But I was raised in a single parent family that did have a lot of family support and sometimes it was very frustrating for me as a child and I know now that it was very difficult for my mother. Sometimes, you make decisions based on facts and you have to think of the long term effect. Having a baby when I was thirty would not have been the best decision. I could do it now, but now I am too old. This gal that has 14 children is a very selfish woman who is hoping for the generosity of other people. Lucky for her, she lives in California where there are resources and people willing to give her what she wants. I do want the best for the children but being raised by such a selfish mother is not going to be the best. I teach children with selfish mothers and it is a lose-lose situation. Right now I have a student who lives with her mother and her mother's boyfriend,who is on the list of sexual offenders for rape. This mother has 3 little girls and she surrounds them with people who are going to jail or who have been in jail. As my student told me one day, "Everyone in my family has been in jail at some time." Anyway, this child misses school for many reasons but all the time. I think she has been absent 15 days and tardy for 14 days. Her mother can't provide anything for our parties or our classroom but they got a Wii for Christmas and now this week, "Mom got us TVs for the car. She got two of them." But.. we needed a drink for our Valentine's party and they couldn't afford to provide that. When we had cold weather this fall, she didn't have a coat and "Mom doesn't have the money to buy me a coat." So, I bought a coat for her. On Monday she showed up in a new coat that Grandma got her.(We keep the coat in the room as an extra coat and another of my girls wears it at recess as her coat doesn't have a hood and is very light weight. This family also got a Wii for Christmas, yet my student wore the same shirt three days out of four this week.) You know, I think I got off topic but my mind is racing thinking about people and their children. I was raised in a single family household but my mom was anything but selfish. Parents need to put their children first. I read all the magazines that say your marriage and husband come first but I don't think that is true. Once you have children, they should come first. If you have a healthy family, you shouldn't have to choose who comes first as everything will be the same. You can love everyone. But kids are dependent. They need love and care and safety but they also need to have a parent there for them. OK enough for now but this has been weighing heavy on my heart.

Good Friends

Today we had our "Good Friends" get-together at school. At my school ,Third Grade has a program that we call "Good Friends". Each third grader is matched up with a community member and then every month we get together and have a party. In September we just played some word games and word searches while everyone gets to know one another. In December we make graham cracker "gingerbread" houses, although this year we didn't get to because of the weather. In January we played UNO and this month I got a little craft for us to make together. The music teacher helps out by preparing a 10 minute program where the kids sing or play their recorders or some such thing. Then in April we have an evening party where we invite the parents and the Good Friends can bring a guest and the children put on a musical. It is so much fun for the kids and the adults as well. For the teacher, it is lots of work but well worth it. I have so many older members of the community that I call my friends now, that if we didn't do this I would not even know who they are. When I found out that I was going to teach Third grade I was afraid of being in charge of the program but the first year I did it, my teaching partner had taught third grade a few years so she planned it and "I helped". The next year I was the only third grade teacher so we did things mostly the way she did with a few changes and the art teacher and the music teacher helped me. This year there is another third grade teacher but we are doing things pretty much the same as always. I knew this was an important part of our community but I didn't realize how much until I went to a former student's funeral and one of the pictures they showed on the slide show at the funeral was his good friend and him when he was in third grade. His good friend was there sitting with the family. That's when it hit me that this wasn't just good for kids, it was essential that we keep it up, no matter what. So. . . we have "Good Friends". This month the parent who had signed up for treats and napkins, cups, drink, and everything was helicoptered to the hospital in Omaha. The other parent signed up was the parents of my little girl that is non-verbal and I had forgotten to send a reminder about it earlier this week. I figured that last night was too late so I asked another mother, who graciously agreed, to bring treats and I took a bag of Chex mix and a vegetable pizza. Then the mother that was going to help and bring the drink couldn't come because her daughter threw up at lunch and she had to go home. This wasn't looking like the best meeting ever! But the librarian offered her aid to help me and that was a life saver. She manned the punch. The mother of my non-verbal student brought homemade cookies. The boys that I have for special reading set up the table and got the floor of the room cleaned. They were so careful to count out the napkins and forks. They even sat the forks in a fan design after I told them they had to look nice. We made the craft and then we had our snack and it was a huge success. I had three kids not there and three good friends couldn't come. When it was all over, everyone said it was a great time and they were so glad they came. It is important for kids everywhere to have as many people in their court as possible but for kids in our socioeconomic group, it is just essential. I am glad to be a part of it. I have fun and have also made some wonderful friends.

Friday the 13th

Well, I have almost made it through Friday the 13th. It has been a fun day. I did nothing and did not leave the house! If everyone and everything stays safe for the next 45 minutes, we will have made it. I did absolutely nothing today. Well, I did connect with several friends via telephone and computer. I made supper and I made a dessert for tomorrow, Valentine's Day. My significant other brought me a dozen roses tonight. They are very beautiful. I made supper for tonight so we will probably have the leftovers tomorrow. Sunday we are going to a supper at the church for our "special" meal.
No, I don't believe in the bad luck of Friday the 13th. I know that one day is just like another but I also know that if at 11:21 on any day, I can say I made it through, then it was a lucky day.
As for Valentine's Day, I think it has way too much importance attached to it. There were many Valentine's Days that I didn't have a special someone of the opposite sex and I still had good days. I got him a box of all nuts candy and some socks. Isn't that romantic! Last year I gave him a mp3 player. Have a good day tomorrow, whether or not you have a significant other of the opposite sex. Just enjoy the people you love. Do a random act of kindness. Or not so random. I took my elderly friend and neighbor out to get groceries before the storm and she was so grateful and I had fun with her. Don't forget to appreciate each and every moment that you have.

No School

Yeah. Today there is no school because of the snow, or at least the snow we are supposed to have. I know the children are disappointed because today would have been our Valentine's Day Party. They love the Valentine's Day party. Our school sells flowers that you can buy and give to other kids or whatever but if someone doesn't get a flower we buy one for them. I had eight kids that did not have flowers so I made a donation and they got flowers. The secretary fills out the card and she just put ?? for the from. One of my girls got so excited. She said that she had a secret admirer and that she thought it was from two boys. TWO BOYS??? This is a third grader. Already she is succumbing to the pressure of wanting boys to like her. Her aunt had a baby when she was in ninth grade so this put up a red flag for me. I told her that I knew who it was and it was just from someone at school who cares about her. They have decorated their boxes and planned the Valentines. They all wanted to show me which Valentine's they have given to which friend. They take it so seriously. We will have to have a party of some kind on Monday. They will still love it. I am so happy that they care so much about each other and I wish and hope that they can keep this closeness. Some groups do and some don't. One good thing, this class doesn't have too many transients. Most of them have been in the community for a long time. We had lesson the other day about why people move and how a community grows and gets better because of the people. Most of my kids have been in the same house their whole lives so this lesson was a little bit hard to teach but we were discussing why do people move. They came up with great answers like better weather, better jobs, to be close to family and so on. One girl raised her hand and her answer was "If you get kicked out of one state then you have to go to another state or if you are running from the law you have to go to a new place to live." Yes, yes that is true. I really don't know that she has any personal experience with this but she certainly knew that that was a reason you would move. The only reason any of them had moved was because of divorce. Kids are so fun and interesting but when you hear these things , it make me worry a little bit. This was the same girl, that when we were reading the book Anna's Blizzard and talked about how the teacher would stay with the families of the students, got this horrified expression on her face and told me that I couldn't come stay with their family because they had bugs in their food. NO she didn't want me to eat at her house. SO I hope that on a day like this when there is no school that she and the children in her circumstances are having good food and a good day. No School. I am going to enjoy it.

Following the Rules

What about just following the rules? I am a rule follower. If I am turning a corner, I put on my turn signal, even if there is not another car in sight. I buckle my seat belt. I pay my bills. I am on time to work and rarely ask to leave early. When I have an extra duty, I am always there on time and usually the first one to report for duty. If I am able, I follow the rules. Always have. It has gotten me nowhere. I am not rich. I am not my bosses favorite. I have won no awards for doing my job and being where I am supposed to be. In fact, it almost works against me. The people that are consistant about not following the rules are excused for some reason. On the rare occasion that I do not follow the rules, it is noticed. Mainly because it is so rare. Now, as the comment on my blog said, What about just following the rules? Yep. The world would go much smoother. No one would run stop signs, or speed, or drive under the influence. Many things would be different. Bills would be paid and our economy would be in much better shape. There would be no affairs or lying. God gave us the set of rules that would keep this world going and functioning. I think that part of the reason we are in such bad shape is that very few people can say they are rule followers. Jesus said to love our neighbor as ourself in addition to the ten commandments. If everyone followed that one rule, this world would look a whole lot different. Tomorrow I am going to a burial for a former friend. She was not a rule follower. She tried to break every social rule in the book. She chose an alternate live style in the 1950s, which definitely did not follow the rules. She went to the Service in WWII. Not all that common for women. She chose a profession that was all men and she did well at it. Her family was from New York and were friends with FDR and Eleanor, yet she chose to move to Nebraska. She did not back down for other people but stood to her beliefs. At one time, she and I were very good friends and she listened to all my woes. She was a very good listener. Then she started to get very possessive of me, and later of one of our other friends. She started lying to get her way and then our friendship ended. Now, I am going to meet with our other friend and be there when they put her in the ground. I feel sad but I don't really know why. Janny said it is the marking of time. I think she is right. What if she would have followed the rules? How different her life would have been.
Another part of "Why not follow the rules?" goes toward our judicial system and our police. One of my co-workers got picked up for DWI. This is not a good thing for a teacher. Should be a horrible thing and one to be avoided at all costs. But, when the court report came out it wasn't a DWI after all so there was hardly any punishment. I don't want this person to go to jail or lose his/her job but why doesn't this person have to follow the rules? Why isn't the punishment consistant? I saw a gal tonight that was accused of embezzeling thousands of dollars but when the court report came out a few weeks ago, she got a slap on the wrist. I am guessing she has already paid back the money but the sentence didn't mention restitution, so I don't know. She lives in a brand new house and drives a beautiful vehicle. Not following the rules paid off for her. I could go on forever but I am rambling. I just don't understand why rules are for some people and not for other people. This would be an easier place to live if everyone followed the rules. (Please don't comment about how so many things wouldn't be here if people followed the rules and how inventions and such came about because people didn't follow the rules. That is not what I am talking about. I am talking about rules for living and how to treat people and safety rules.)