Parents! Learn to Tell Your Child "NO"

Today, once again, I infuriated a parent. Well, I am sorry but I am not too happy either. We had our Veteran's Day program. The kids were to wear clothing that was red, white and blue. One of my kids showed up in a tuxedo. It was too big and it had long tails. I told him to hang the jacket up because it wasn't for the program. After the program he was crying. His mother came running up to him. She talked to hime and then turned around and gave me a look that could kill and stomped by me. She did not speak. I asked the kid what was wrong and he said that he wanted to wear his jacket. I told him that his jacket was not appropriate for our program. That the program was not about him but about the Veteran's. I told him that he was not supposed to be noticed and that we don't wear tuxedos to our program. He quit crying and asked me if I was mad. I told him I wasn't mad but I was disgusted that he was crying. I suppose. . . . I will hear about this. Most people would tell the kid "no" at home. I told him he was the baby at home but he wasn't at school and he would act like the other kids. Why? Why? Why? do some parents do everything they can to make their kids weird. This kid is smart and has a good sense of humor. He is smart and cute but he is constantly doing something to get attention. His parents think it is funny and cute. I just want him to be "normal." He pouted all day. I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

Ok. I Know This is Petty

I am an officer in an organization that is intended to be for professionals. However, you can't keep people from joining so some of the members aren't professionals. (And no, I am not being snotty in saying this.) People of either good upbringing or with some training, think differently than people with poor upbringing, previous drug use (or maybe current drug use, I don't know), or just plain losers. One of our members is a great member in many ways but today I am so angry with her I just want to call her and tell her off. But, I know I shouldn't and so far I haven't. For this meeting, the other leader and I went to Wal-Mart to purchase decorations and door prizes. Being Halloween time there are lots of cute decorations. We had $30 of the organization's money but we got carried away and I had to put in $50 of my own money. I was not worried about that as I planned on bringing the decorations back home and using them for my own private use. Thus, I should pay for them. So we decorated and made it look really festive. We had one table with a black tablecloth with those eyes on it and then two tables with yellow tablecloths. I had gotten some gummy eyes that matched the eyes in the tablecloth so we stuck them on the plain tablecloth so it tied it all together. We thought it looked really cute. Then we put Autumn Mix candy, caramels, candy corn taffy, and Halloween pencils down the middle and it looked very festive. After our meeting I was talking with the guests we had invited and noticed one of the members taking the eyes off of the tablecloth and sticking them on a paper plate. (which I had also bought with my own money). I thought, "How nice, she is helping us pick up. She doesn't usually do that." I continued on with talking to the presentor and then cleaning up and didn't give it another thought. When we were ready to go I looked for the eyes and they were nowhere to be found. Later another member said she saw this particular member take the eyeballs, all the pencils, all the candy that was on the table and all the left overs from the presentors. Those weren't her things!!! We told people they could have a pencil, not 7 or 8 pencils. Do you take the decorations when you leave? Of course not! Why on Earth would she think she could take the decorations? I really wanted the eyes for school to put on our door. This is the first year we have had a door. They wouldn't block the door so people can still see in, but would be fun. I think they were $2 but it is just the idea that she STOLE them right in front of me. Then she came and told me how bad she is having it right now. She is fighting the city because they want to condemn some of her property. I know there a lots bigger problems than this but I never can get over the audacity of people. I could go on and on but have probably said too much and come across as a greedy so and so. That is not the case. If she would have asked and had somewhere to use them, I probably would have said she could have them but to just sneak them away, makes me furious and makes me feel used and unappreciated. Even if she thought the council bought them, they were not hers to take. I may call her tomorrow and ask for my eyes. . . . . "Even as you have done to the least of these, you had done unto me." I know that scripture well, and probably won't but I don't know if Jesus would want Halloween eyes?

First Day of School

It was the second day of school and I am so tired even the bridge of my nose hurts. I think I will have a great class. They seem pretty cute and nice. A little sleepy yet but eventually I hope they perk up.

I am happy to be 50.

Okay, I will repeat that many times. I am happy to be 50. I guess I must have sounded dejected or something in an earlier post. I am fine. I am happy. I just need to work on being happy with what I have. Which I know, is more that millions of people in the world. As Jim used to tell me continually, "You are better off not having what you want, than having what you don't want." I really, really want a big beautiful house. Ok, I would take a small beautiful house of my own. Obviously, that isn't going to happen on my salary. But... I had the opportunity to have supper with a long lost friend who did have a big, beautiful house. Six thousand square feet with a two story window overlooking Pikes Peak. The house he and his wife had dreamed of their whole married life of 24 years. Less than one year in the house their marriage dissolved. He told me to remember that all that stuff is just stuff and isn't what is important. He said he'd take a small rental house if it would have kept his marriage and family together. So. I guess be careful what you wish for. Anyway, I am a happy person. I have someone who loves me right here with me and many people who love me all over the countryside. I love and trust God and know that He has a plan for my life. He has saved my life too many times for me not to believe there is a purpose for me being here. I am happy to be 50, I am happy to be 50, I am happy to be 50.

My Family

I have the best family in the world. My immediate family is the best as well as my extended family. How do I know? Because I have many friends and see many families and rarely see a family like mine. My mom has been in declining health for the past six or seven years. My sisters take better care of her than anyone can imagine. People are always saying how great it is that we do what we do for her but isn't that what everyone does? Jerryl, Joye, and Janny have definitely earned some jewels because they give up a part of their own lives to be with Mom. We don't think of it as giving up though because we get to spend that time with Mom, who by the way is fine mentally. She is smart and funny and knows what is going on in the world and has definite opinions. My father died when I was 6 years old. Many people have asked why didn't my mom remarry. The answer is, she gave all she had to us. She was very busy. We always had what we needed and now I am realizing we also had more than most people. We were loved. We had a huge extended family. My mom had 13 aunts and uncles that treated us like we were the best things ever. We were treated like grandchildren by them, which was good because I was 11 years old when my last grandparent passed away. Of course they are all gone now but the love they instilled in us still lives on. Then I had my own aunts and uncles. Most of them lived far away and we didn't see them too much. My Uncle Clair, however, was more like a brother than an uncle. After my dad died, he still came and spent weekends with us and played with us, scolded us, teased us, and loved us. We saw the others at family reunions. Everyone made a huge effort to come to those so we could spend time together. It was never enough time but it did bring us close together and it got us to know our cousins. I feel very sorry for the cousins that don't come because they are missing out on a family group that is so supporting and loving.
We just spent a day or so with my family as Uncle Maurice died and we got together to remember his life and celebrate his love for all of us. His kids and grandkids were all there. I hope that even as our aunts and uncles leave this world that the cousins will continue to get together and love each other. As I spent some time visiting with my cousins, I just thought about how I wish we could get together more. All of them are such nice people. They are easy to talk to and just are who they are. I think the evidence that this is not just me is in the fact that the in-laws are included just as much as the blood relatives. When my cousin's widow's husband said he was really working hard on learning who everyone in her family is, it struck me that yes, we are her family and now he is a part of that too. I am so lucky that my grandparents put the love for God and the love for family into our parents and I love seeing that go on down the line.

A Great Birthday Party

Today I went for fun coffee drinks to Shirley Ks in Cambridge with 6 friends. We had the best time. That is a group of my favorite people and we all laughed and had a terrific time. There were no games and no one dominated the conversation. Thank you to them for such a nice time. I am dealing with this birthday as best I can. I really am having a mid-live crisis. If I could afford it, I would just head out and see where I landed. I do understand why people try new things. I thought about the Bucket List. On that email that was going around, I had really done quite a few of the things. What do I still have to do? I would like to live in a house that I chose and helped plan. I would like to spend time at the beach with my feet in the water. I have done that in Maine and would love to do it again. I would like to see the Grand Cranyon and Yellowstone Park, and Glacier National Park. I would like to see a Polar bear in the wild. I would like to sleep in a lighthouse. I want to play with grand nieces and nephews. I would like to not be worried about money. I would like to be able to stand up to people. I would like to have my college gang get together again. I would like to attend a Broncos game in Denver. I guess I'd better start saving my money.

Getting Older

I am about to change decades in my age and I am not very excited about it. I have nothing to show for anything! I have not accomplished all that much, in fact, I have accomplished nothing. I have had the same job for the last 27 years! What does that say? I do not own a home, or a car, or have children or go on great vacations. I do have a job and a roof over my head and a car that is almost paid for...... I have a great family, but that is none of my doing. I have some terrific friends, but I also have some "friends" that weigh me down. But I just put up with it. Why? I suppose because I think that I can "help" them? I enjoy them sometimes but how much do you have to put up with before you call it quits. Just this week two of them sat here in my house and lied to me. Then they expect me to be their great friend. I am a good friend to them, but they are not to me. On the up beat I heard from two friends that I haven't heard from for years. One of them is a college friend that I worked with at Goodrich Dairy Store in Kearney. He called me and told me that in all the years and all the people that he has met there are just a handful that even if you do not see them ever again, are in your heart and you love them. He told me that I was one of those to him, as he is to me. I wanted to plan a get together for my college friends that are the same age as me, we all turn within 6 weeks of each other. One of them can't come because of a wedding, her nephew's so of course that is understandable. One can't come because she has a meeting at work, one can't come because she was the last one to ask for it off of work and she isn't feeling well. So, it isn't because they don't want to come but what I find so sad, is that all of us are in the same boat. When we were young and in college we swore we would take a cruise when we turned 50. Now we can't even all make it to McCook because we are still working away at jobs that we can't just take off. I know, I know that I have a great life. I do But it just isn't what I always pictured.

Shop Fee???

I recently had my car aligned in a local dealer's garage. First of all, I had an appointment with the Chevy garage but the guy who does the alignments was sick that day I had the appointment. Since I had had the appointment for a week, they took it to the Ford garage to have it done. They are both owned by the same company. I had a quote from the Chevy garage and went with them over some of the independent guys because they were a few dollars cheaper. Anyway, I knew there were going to be a few extra things they needed to do like put on a tie rod and perhaps an axle with the boot. When the called to ask me if they could do those things, I said yes, do whatever needs to be done for the least amount of money you can do it. I went down to pay my bill and they were $5 more on the alignment than the Chevy garage but OK. Then I see a $10 misc charge. I asked them what that was for. "OH, it is just a shop fee. We put it on every ticket. It is a percentage of your bill." I ask, "What is it for?" "It is just a shop fee." Again, "What is it for?" At this time they started to get very impatient and I think, rude, "Well, it is for shop supplies." Me:"Isn't that the parts charge?" They: "NO, that is for the parts." ME:"Isn't that included in the labor fee?" Which by the way is $75 an hour. They: "NO, it is for things like" and I am telling the truth."ELECTRICITY, and oil and shop rags."
I am not kidding. I think they should have said coffee and rolls. Anyway, I think that should be included in the quote of price because that made them much higher than the independent guy. If they need to do it then they should put it on the labor charge and I would not know how to question it.

Why Is It?

Why is it that people are always playing head games with each other? I remember a song from when I was a kid, Oh the Games People Play Now. How true.
This gal I know called me the other day and she was so upset. She had just read a book by Steve Harvey called something like How to Think Like a Man. In this book he says that to please and keep your man you have to do certain things. He said that men like clean houses so you need to keep your house very clean. Men like good meals at mealtime so you need to make great meals, and men like the "cookie" all the time, so you had better be prepared to give your man "cookies" whenever he wants. All I can say is WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? Excuse me!!!! I want a clean house and good meals too and I would really like some care and devotion too. How is that thinking like a man. When I am working 12 long hours, 5 days a week, I don't think it is entirely up to me to make sure the house is clean and the food is prepared and purchased. He said that if your man isn't getting "cookies" from you, he will go elsewhere to find it. Excuse Me again!! What kind of a person is that? I only read a few excerpts from this book and I was so mad I couldn't see straight for a little bit. I just think we have bought into the idea that we have to please someone and those someones have gotten into the ideas that they have to be pleased and that may be why the divorce rate is so high.
Another friend was telling me about a book she read about how to please your partner. It said that men want to be respected and women want to be loved. That kind of thinking is a little better. I think that may be true and maybe if we look at the things we do and say, we aren't treating each other in those ways and with a little bit of tweaking, we can improve our relationships.
My relationship with my man is fine. I am not reading these books or having these conversations looking for advice but I do know that the respect is definitely a key area of our relationship. HE wants to be respected and can handle a dirty house and toast to eat if he feels that he is respected.
Going back to Steve Harvey. Why do (does?) all the media think this is talk show material? I think he has been on every talk show there is. Do people really buy into this? Don't you think that in a relationship that is working, both of those people will work to make things the way they want them, IE a clean house or fancy meals or whatever?! Steve Harvey is the same age as me so I don't understand how he missed the women's movement or how he cannot see that in the real world most women are going to an outside job as well as keeping house, taking care of kids and meals, as well as having a husband or partner.
I think I will write a book, What Women Want and How to Make Sure Your Woman is Fulfilled. In it I will put that women want a clean house with new furniture, no TV noise, good food and a clean kitchen,shopping done, car gassed and tires up, time for an uninterrupted bubble bath, beautiful clothes, and the "cookie" only when she wants it. For you see, everyone has their wants but unfortunately we have to live in a society that may not allow us to have everything we want, exactly when and how we want it. As a teacher, I see the results of this kind of thinking every day. There are some people that just think that the world is going to revolve around them and if it doesn't then someone is going to pay. The media should not encourage this type of thinking. Someone should tell Steve Harvey that he, and no person, is the center of the world and that we don't get everything we want but that we go on and we work at compromise and getting along and SHARING. I wonder what he was like in kindergarten?

Neighbors

Last night the wind came up something fierce and my outside cat was still outside. She sleeps in the basement. Anyway, I went out to find her and the neighbor came to the fence to visit. We were talking about all the cats in the neighborhood and how I feed his cat every night. ( His cat,Cody, has semi-adopted me. Everynight he comes and cries at my door and I take him a scoop of either Iams or Science Diet hairball food because earlier in the summer he was throwing up hairballs and otherwise getting rid of hairballs on my step and sidewalk. They feed him the WalMart brand that the vet told me has no nutrition.) He was telling me that he usually leaves his garage door open a little bit so the cats can go in there if it storms. He said the cats really like his garage. I asked him why they would like his garage. The answer: I keep the rats and mice I breed in the garage in cages! Oh great. Now, not only does he have enemies that kicked in his garage door but he also has rats and mice. Why do you have rats and mice? To feed my snake. He has a 6 foot Python in his house!!!! What a great place to live.

Lucky or Unlucky?

I fell backwards, headfirst, down a flight of 13 wooden steps and landed on a cement floor. I only had bruises.

I got bit by a tick. The bite developed into a bulls eye rash and itches and hurts horribly. I called the Dr. and got started on an antibiotic right away before any other symptoms developed. The rash is getting less hard and less red.

I got two new chips in my windshield but they haven't spread yet and we have a good fix it place here in town.

My driver's side window of my car quit working and went down but not up. It was a fairly nice day, windy but hot and not rainy, so I could drive with my window down without a problem.

Neal was able to take the door panel off but now can't get the part. The part costs $315 from the dealer and they have one. It is $90-$168 from the parts houses but they won't have one until next Thursday. I am going to Burwell but I can drive without a door panel if I have to.

My car is parked in a very dry garage where it won't get rained on and we have no vermin in the garage. It is supposed to rain tomorrow so I can't go anywhere.

I am done at school, finally, but they sent a whole box of our new reading, language and spelling series for us to practice at home throughout the summer.
We are starting a very controversial reading, language and spelling program that failed in McCook and I have been told that "You will cry the first year," but
I still have a job and the series doesn't look as bad as I thought. Our principal hired an outside consultant but she is not affiliated with the series. She has just taken the training from the company so she is much easier to work with than what I know other schools have to work with.

I have lost my camera. I have asked St. Anthony for help. I can't think of an upside for that just yet!

Mom isn't feeling too well but she is still home and doing better. She has also had 88 years of being very healthy.

I have many people who love me and take care of me. The other day when I was feeling very low, Ree came to make sure I was OK, Jerryl called to see how I was, Julie expressed her concern and Neal came home early to take me to two parties we had been invited to. I got hugs at both parties. We didn't stay too long at either because my arm, where the tick bite is, was killing me but we did get to go and say hi to everyone.

A house burned down here yesterday and really put things into perspective.
I am really very lucky.

More random thoughts

I am a teacher. I love teaching kids. I don't exactly love my job anymore as it is so political. I really depends on who is your friends on how you get treated. Today one of our teachers retired after 27 1/2 years of teaching in our school system. She was given 3 minutes at our talent show in the elementary building and two gifts in gift bags. Another teacher retired also. I don't know how long he had taught in our system but he has taught many, many years. He has been with us, I would guess, about 10 years. He was one that came in the consolidation so I really don't know when he came but we have been consolidated about 7 years. He didn't even get that much. He got a hurry up card and gift certificate. What is wrong with this picture? The gal from the elementary spent her life in that building. She would be there until 8 o'clock at night and did so much for the kids. She is on the city library board so she can make sure the village has the correct books and she was on the school's foundation until this year. She has given all to the school district and to the children. Doesn't she deserve more than a gift bag? The school board or the superintendent weren't even there to give her that. I really think the school board needs a policy on retirement and that teachers that retire from teaching, not change schools, should be recognized at either the spring program or graduation. When I first started teaching it was at graduation. That would be an appropriate time as there are many parents and alumni present We had a teacher retire a few years ago and the parent organized this huge party with balloons and gifts and invited former students. That teacher had also been with our school a long time but she was very well-to-do and so was seen in many public places with the other well-to-do people, thusly, they gave her a party. I just don't understand why it is that in education, the older you are the less valuable you are. I know I am a better teacher now than I was when I was 25. Maybe not as excited and I maybe don't do as many "fun" things but I know my students are learning more in the subject area. It just seems like when we get 55 years old, we are being asked to retire and then when we do it is like "Don't let the door hit you on the way out." I feel bad for these teachers. They have given all they had to their students and to the school district. They were very successful teachers. Then on another note, some of the teachers in our school got "Smart boards" at the beginning of the year. Some of us got them within the last 3 weeks. My class had heard the class next door watching movies on their smartboard all year. It is just like watching on a big screen. So I told them we would watch one yesterday or today. yesterday I tried and our board wasn't set up for that yet. I asked our media person if she could take care of that and she said she would try to get to it. She did come in, and she is very busy this time of the year. She thought she had it ready. So today we tried and it wasn't ready. I asked her and she just said, I apologize, sorry. I am not her best friend so my kids didn't get to watch on the big screen. It didn't hurt anyone, in fact we read some fun books and they really liked it but it is just the "politicalness" of it.

Last Day of School

May 15, the last day of school for the year. I graduated from high school on May 15, I graduated from college on May 15, and today was the last day of school with this class. I always look forward to the last day of school but I also dread it. For one thing, now the really hard work of cleaning and putting everything away begins. I always think that I will really be organized this year and then always end up running out of time and just shoving stuff. I have thrown away tons of stuff and brought most of my personal belongings home so maybe this year won't be so bad. We have to have everything packed in boxes as they are starting a major construction job in our school.Then there is report cards and yes, we still fill out the cum folders. We are to have all of that done on Monday so that the rest of the week we can have training on our new Reading Series, Reading Mastery. Then of course, I am so tired when I get home that everything at home gets left until " I am done at school" and so my house also is in need of great organizing. But I get finished at school on Thursday and will try to go to Burwell on Saturday. I plan on spending most of the month there. I need to come back to this "home" one weekend as it is the auction of the property of Neal's late aunt and the going away party for my minister who is leaving after ten years. I am sorry to see him go but anxious to see what our new minister will be like. That's the scoop here.

Jane's update

Here is my update. I'll start with today and go backwards. I took today off just for a personal day to get my stuff done because I was so busy the past two weeks. Last night I was letting Marcia in and I fell down the basement steps. There are about a dozen steep wooden steps and I went down them head first. I managed to keep my head up and my arms sort of tucked in but I am covered with bruises and don't feel very well today. My left leg has a very sore bruise, my right shoulder and my the fingers on my right hand are really swollen. My whole back is just one big bruise and is also scraped up. I tore the skin off of my left ankle. I really don't know how it looked but it was scary and hurt like crazy. I slid at the bottom of the stairs so I ended up about 3 feet from the bottom step. It knocked the wind out of me and now today I have a scratchy voice. I suppose because it was hard to talk at first and I forced it. I called the chiropractor but they have no openings. My Dr. only works about one morning a week and if I am going to drive to Oberlin I want to see him. I may call the one I have been to here in town if it seems like I need to go but really, my "back" seems OK. I am not going to get everything done I thought I might get done. My back door is to a small landing and there are three doors there, the door to the garage, the door to the kitchen and the back door and then the steps. Usually I stand in the kitchen and open the back door because it swings inward. This time I was on the landing and I must have taken a step back. Anyway, I am sore but think I will be OK.
Sunday was confirmation at church. I am a "prayer partner" and have prayed for confirmand all year. I went to the alter with her family when she was confirmed. Dorothy and David also come to visit. They picked us up for church and then we ate at Pizza Hut and went to Wal-mart and then just came home and visited. They left about 4:00 and then I took a nap.
Saturday I left home at 6:30 a.m. and drove to Valerie's house. She then drove us to Lincoln where we met Mom, Jerryl, Janny, Joye, Julie, Sarah, and Catherine at the quilt museum. We went to the Grace Synder exhibit. She was truly an artist and her quilts are beautiful. We ate at Olive Garden which was very good and then shopped at my favorite clothing store where I spent a bunch of money for 5 items of clothing. I told Jerryl that we had to check the receipt because that store had cheated me more than once. We checked and everything seemed to be in order. I got home and looked on-line and found out they had cheated me once again. I bought three tops. They were having a sale, buy two tops get one free, but they told me that only one of my tops was eligible for that sale so I said OK, whatever, but then after I looked on-line, two of my tops should have qualified and I should have gotten a free top. I may call them today but their manager is not nice. I have argued with her many times. I may have to just go there to try on clothes and order them on-line.
Friday night was our Good Friends Celebration. The Third grade has these older people from the community paired up with the children. Every month we get together and have a program and snacks with them. Then in April we have a huge party where we invite their spouses or guests and the kids' parents. The kids put on a musical that the music teacher and I work up. Then the Good Friends bring desserts. We decorate the tables and make gifts for the Friends. Valerie and Neal came Friday afternoon and helped the janitor set up our tables and then they decorated the tables so by the time my kids left school they almost had the whole thing ready to go. Afterwards we have to clean up but the parents help. It is another blog subject to talk about the manners of parents and adults in our society.
Friday during the day we had the bicycle rodeo and got everything ready for the Celebration and then performed our play in front of the whole school.
Wednesday and Thursday were just busy days getting ready while having school. Tuesday was our field trip. We went to McCook. We started out reading to the residents of Highland Park, a retirement home. Then we toured McCook National Bank, Community Hospital, the Humane Society, and the McCook Safety Center. At the hospital one of my kids had a horrible headache so I had to drop out of the tour to take care of him and then had to try to get in touch with someone to come get him. Of course the number they put on the emergency sheet was a cell phone that Dad didn't have turned on so I couldn't get in touch with anyone. So I called the secretary at school and she took care of the calling. Then I had arranged with the Fair building that we would come use the restrooms there because our parks just don't have very good bathrooms but we were running a little bit late so I called the gal at the office and asked if she could unlock the building before she left as she had told me in no certain terms that she left at noon for her lunch and we had to be there before noon. It was looking like we wouldn't be there until about 12:05 so I called her. She lit into me that she didn't have time for me and that since I was using the building for free she didn't have to help me blah blah blah. Of course, I had 28 talking third graders in the bus so I just told her to forget it; we would do something different. I told my bus driver, who just happens to be my supt., to just take us to the park and we'd do what we could there. It was a beautiful day, windy of course, but nice so we could eat there and go to the bathroom behind the trees if we had to. No one had to use the bathroom I guess. Anyway, my sick child's grandma came, we ate and then left to go to the Humane Society. They usually give great tours and let the kids see the animals. Well, the gal in charge had gone home sick and left another worker who knew nothing about giving a tour. I gave the tour! Then we went to the Safety Center where we had scheduled a visit to the tornado house. The first group took off and then came right back. The video quit. So we just got a tour of the fire barn. It was very interesting. Then we went home and played on our park equipment. We had a good time but it was very stressful.
Monday was our school spring program so we had to go to the high school to practice and then that night was the concert.
Sunday wasn't anything too much.
Saturday I spent the day in Kearney at a State Board Meeting.
Friday was our Reading Council's final meeting for the year and we had a gal from Nicodemus Kansas speak and we had a meal catered. It went well.
That was the last week.

This is Wednesday the 29th and I am home still. The people at school told me to stay home another day. I am very sore!!! My whole backside is just one huge bruise and I am very stiff. But, I am alive and well and that is the important thing.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! Praise the Lord for the gift he gave us on this holy,holy weekend. I always remember Valerie when she was very small. We had a very effective Good Friday service where the minister told the story of Good Friday and then draped the alter and the cross in black. We all left the church in silence. We got to the car and were on our way home and she began crying and crying. When we asked her what was wrong she said," They killed my friend." The faith of the child. Then I remember the Easter that Mackenzie was born. What a miracle! We were very surprised to have her come that day. She was tiny, tiny, but very mighty. I also remember one Easter with Sarah. We came back to Grandma's house after church to find a real bunny tail on the porch. We told her that it was the tail of the Easter Bunny and that the cats must have killed him. She was very upset! Happy Easter and may this Easter bring wonderful blessings and memories to you all!

Rules for Life...Why don't people follow them?

Happiest place to be! That's what I heard about Nebraska this week. I do believe it too. We don't have enough stuff around us to make us unhappy and we rely on inner happiness. Today I went over the classroom rules with my children and just thought about how much happier we would all be is everyone followed those rules. The first one is "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Of course, we know that if everyone did this we would not have any problems. The next one is, "Be positive and encouraging to everyone, even yourself." Wow! NO put downs to anyone. We all could practice this. I don't say put-downs to most people but to myself, I am the queen of put-downs. "Invite others to play with you, don't leave anyone out." Again, wouldn't life be better if others listened to that and carried through. "Listen completely. Look at the person speaking and be still while you are listening. Respond appropriately." "Be a winner. Do your best at all times."
And last but not least are our rules for apologizing. "Look at the person. Use a pleasant face and polite voice. Say I am sorry for .... It won't happen again. What can I do to make it right? and It won't happen again. Please forgive me. If you accept the apology, the case is over. If you can't accept the apology you tell what you want the other person to do and then you say "Thank you for your apology." I really think that we could all use these ideas and if we all did, life would be a lot easier.

Just Too Busy and Boring

I haven't written on here lately because this is the busiest time of the year yet also the most boring for other people to hear about. I have been planning my class's field trip. I have taken up about 10 prep periods and am still not done. So far we are reading to the residents at the retirement home, one of the residents used to live across the street from the school and loves to have us come visit her. Then we are going to the bank and then the hospital. We will have lunch in the 4-H building so no matter if it is rainy or windy we will have a place to stretch, go to the bathroom and run. Then we are going to the Humane Society and then to the Fire Station for a tour through their new storm safety house. They will simulate a storm and tornado and teach the kids what to do. It sounds pretty neat to me. The other Third Grade teacher has done NOTHING to help me plan this. She just said to me to " just do it." Then we have our final Good Friends celebration coming up. There is so much to do for that I don't even know how to explain it all to her. We have to get decorations bought and then put up that afternoon. Then we have to get the invitations sent and the information to parents and Good Friends. We need to get a program made with a picture of the kids on it. There is just a bunch to do. Oh well. We have achievement tests next week so have this week to get ready.
Then at home I am trying to get things cleaned up. I have a plan to change my cow bedroom into an office. I have a leather chaise lounge in the basement I am going to bring up, put a TV on the wall and get a desk and some bright lamps. I think it will be kind of neat.
That's about it for here.

Update on the Last Blog

Thank you for all the nice comments and I am glad that some people updated their blogs. I went to the eye Dr. and my numbers were back to high normal so I don't have to go back for a year. I have worn my new glasses and they really help. We went to visit the school that does the Reading Series we are looking at. I guess as far as I can see it is just another reading series. I can teach it, I am sure. It reminds me of how I learned reading and I am a very good reader so I have nothing against the program. Two things really worry me. One, everyone I know that has taught out of it says that you cry the whole first year and parents are very unsure of it. The other is the cost! They could bring in a college class and give us all three hours and spend less money. Maybe that would be a better use of the money. Then, no matter what you are teaching, we teachers could do it the way they seem to want it. One argument I have heard for it is that it takes the teacher element out of it but after observing I would have to argue that that is not true. We watched several teachers today and all of their own styles came thru loud and clear. It involves testing every week and recording "data", the new buzz word for education. It looks like it would take a long time. Right now our kids leave at 3:45. That only gives us 15 minutes of school time to do anything. If that is the schedule next year, then they will have to figure out a time for us to assimilate all our data. The rumor is that next year our kids will leave at 3:15. That would give us 45 minutes which would probably do it. Who knows. I saw two people I know that were teachers there so that was nice. It was a nice trip and the weather was beautiful. I am very tired though.
I heard back from the kids I sent one package to. I am so glad they like the books. I don't know if everyone feels the same about Marc Brown but I was pretty much in awe when I saw him.
I had a great Friday the 13th. A safe trip and I got to eat lunch with Janny and Jim and Valerie went with me. We hadn't done anything for a long time and it was lots of fun to spend some time with her
I heard from the sermon that we are to love people for who they are and nothing more. Not what they can do for us or get us so I have decided to not mention wanting a house again. Maybe I will start buying lottery tickets! I love Neal for being him and for making me laugh and feel safe, not for what he can get me. (Obviously, because he hasn't gotten me that much stuff.) Ha Ha. No, really though. Maybe if I had money, I wouldn't want to share it either.
That brings up another topic. Love of Money. Maybe the next blog.......
Here's hoping that everyone is happy and safe. Remember, that we can't control what other people do. We can only control how we handle it and what we do with it. There will always be people that are mean and unfair and we have to figure out how to deal with it. I have experienced that all my life but especially this year at work. I have just decided that I will be me and whatever happens, happens. Not that I don't worry or feel bad but in the long run, those people are not important to me. Maybe that is another blog topic too. We could all tell our thoughts.
Thanks again for the comments!

Finally Feeling Better

Well, it has been almost three weeks and I think I am finally over whatever bug I had. It really had put me behind at work and at home to feel so lousy for so long. Now, I will have to use my one day Spring Break to do report cards and get ready for a substitute in my classroom. My principal is looking for a new reading series and we are going to go watch one particular series in action on Monday. We will have to leave home at 6:15 a.m. I am anxious to watch it and see how it goes. I have to go to Kearney tomorrow to the eye doctor. My pressure number was way too high so he wants to check it out again. Hopefully, it will have gone down. I know of three other people going to Kearney to doctors tomorrow. All at different clinics and all at different times.
This really is a whatever blog tonight. I have checked almost every night and no one has posted anything new or posted any comments. I guess everyone is as busy as I am and not having the time or inclination to put any effort into the blogging game? or whatever you call it.
We looked at a really nice house last week. I really do want a house but HE says it is too small and expensive so I guess we are not going to get a house. I suppose I should stop bothering the real estate agent and just accept it but I keep hoping.
Tonight I was on the bed with all three kitties beside me. Paris and Marsha were actually both sleeping beside each other. Well, Marsha was sleeping. I think Paris was faking. Olivia was stretched out and sound asleep. I even fell asleep for a little bit but then HE was watching a basketball game that went into 6 overtimes so I had to get up and watch.
This has been a week that I have been thinking about my family a lot. My cousin in Minnesota lost her husband and had a funeral on Monday. My cousin in Florida called and told me he had no reason to live and that he loved me. Makes me wonder what he is up to. I have been too afraid to call him to see if he will answer. Today was my uncle's birthday and my cousin in Kansas had a birthday today. Tomorrow is my cousin Sam's birthday. He'll be 40. We are so lucky to have him as a part of our family and we love him bunches. My nephew is even named after him. My 21 year old niece moved out of home today and into her own apartment. What an exciting time for her. My nephew just turned 16 and is driving. Oh my! My mom is getting better after not being able to talk for several weeks. Neal's dad had been under going tests this week and found out that both his cancers are "awake" again. He starts treatments next week. This will be about the fourth time. His niece turns 13 on Saturday. Now she is a teenager. I sent packages to two cousins last week and haven't heard from either of them. I hope they received them. I guess it was just a week to think about family and to know that even though we have troubles we are so lucky to have such a loving family.
Hope everyone has a safe and happy Friday the 13th.

Crazy Cell Phone Lady

As I said before, I spent a lot of time with a bunch of teachers all looking for the best way to teach reading to a society that really doesn't value reading all that much. Part of the Reading Conference was a visit with Marc Brown, the author of the Arthur books. What a great thing to be in the same room with someone as brilliant and talented as he. He was also very gracious and nice and a very good speaker. At our banquet, which cost $27 to attend, he gave the after dinner speech. He was talking and we were laughing and listening intently when "Ring, Ring." The lady sitting behind us had not turned her phone off. Instead of silencing it or getting up quickly and heading toward the nearest exit, she hunkered down low and answered her phone. OK, she was older and there are times when you do have to be available so say hello and then head out. Nope. She hunkered down lower and started arguing with someone on the other end. "No, that it too far. You can't go there. Where are you? Be careful." All the while this very respected speaker is trying to talk. He is sort of looking around trying to figure out where the talking is coming from but of course, he can't see her. She is hiding behind me. I can't hear the speaker at all. She was very annoying. So, one of the organizers of the conference went over and took her by the elbow and told her she would have to step out. She yanked her elbow out and practically yelled, "I am talking to my husband!" Well, Tiffany tried to explain without talking that she needed to step out. "No! He is is a blizzard really far away and I have to talk to him now!" She did hang up but no apology to the rest of us or a thought given that she was in a room of 300 or more people. Marc Brown just kept talking and was very gracious.

It Takes All Kinds

I have just been reminded that it certainly takes all kinds to make the world go round. I spent last week spending time around teachers from many different schools. Monday and Tuesday I was home with pneumonia like symptoms. Wednesday I went to a large meeting in which there were about 150 teachers from probably 12-14 different schools where we looked at samples from many Reading companies so we can all choose the magic program to "Make our reading scores go up." There were two professors from UNL there to convince us to buy one certain program or to supplement whatever we chose, with some programs that they are the only ones in the state trained to sell. They kept reminding us that they weren't endorsing any one program but we should choose a program that is vertical in nature and there is only one. Anyway, there were all kinds of people there but all of them were there with students in mind and trying really hard to pick out the best for their kids and their reading scores. Then I spent Thursday night through Saturday afternoon with 800 teachers who were spending time and money to find the best ideas for teaching reading to our students and listening to college professors from Doane, UNK and UNO telling us that what the other two told us was a bunch of hooey and that they are just pushing a program that they make money from. What is the best choice? I find it amazing that so many teachers can be spending so much time and effort to help our students learn to read. I think that shows what teachers are made of.
So even if we all looked different and all had different backgrounds and ideas there was lots of conversation and lots of listening and everyone worked together to help our students.

Third grade compliments

Today I went to school feeling like I have pneumonia. I am coughing and was up most of the night. But, I thought I would go in the morning and come home in the afternoon as my kids have "specials" from 12:30-2:00 on Mondays. ( Of course, that means on Tuesday we don't have any.) Anyway, I got a hair cut this weekend. A much overdue haircut. My hair had been looking pretty fuzzy and I was out of make-up and getting my make-up out of the jar with a Q-tip.I got new foundation,blush, and eyeshadow this weekend. This morning my kids came in the room and all of them commented on my haircut. I had just washed and combed it because I didn't feel like fixing it so it looked OK but not fixed. One of my boys that I call my "grandstudent" said "Teacher, you look like you did in the picture my mom has of you when you were her teacher." I asked if that was a good thing and he said yes. All of the teachers had told me I was pale and my eyes were swollen but one of my girls came in and said, "Teacher you look beautiful." Well, that was worth going to school for. Then every time I would cough, one of my boys would get this very concerned look on his face and ask if I was OK and did I need him to get anything for me. They are so sweet. (Remind me of this later.)

There ought to be a law

I am listening to the morning news programs this morning as we have our winter break today. Yep. We get one whole day. A Friday to boot. Anyway, I just saw some group of "professionals" who are offering to watch the octuplets and their six siblings for free. What about people who have 3 kids and don't know how to take care of them and they live in the middle of nowhere instead of California. I have so many parents who would benefit from someone offering to watch their kids and give them physical therapy and speech therapists and language specialist and educational advice. They could use someone to give them clothes and nutrition help, not only advice but food. These "angels" are offering this help in a clean place that they provide and the mother can be there too. Why do you have to be totally irresponsible to get all this help? They reward her for doing something she planned and thought out... for a long time...that she knew she did not have the resources to carry out. In cases like the Duggars? from Arkansas, where they have 18 kids and seem to be able to provide for their kids, at least the basic care, then go ahead and have kids but in cases like this, she deserves to have them taken away. We have laws about puppy mills but not about people like this. We go in and raid and take the puppies and dogs and give them to loving homes that are researched and approved, yet here are 14 children with a mother, and only a mother, that doesn't know how to take care of them and has no common sense or money. She is still in school for Pete's sake. There are so many homes that are able and want children, that I say give them to loving homes. She can have visitation. I know this is not politically correct thinking. When I turned 30 years old and was not married but wanted a baby more than anyone knows, I thought about having a baby. But.. I am a teacher that lives a long ways from my family and support group. I did not at that time have a lot of extra money. I did have a friend who said he would give me the needed material to have a baby. But after much thought I decided that raising a child in a single parent home purposely, and not having the money to provide extra care, and knowing that I would have to work full time all the time to make it work, was not a responsible choice. I did not go through with the procedure and thus, I do not have a child. Did I want to? Yes, very much. But I was raised in a single parent family that did have a lot of family support and sometimes it was very frustrating for me as a child and I know now that it was very difficult for my mother. Sometimes, you make decisions based on facts and you have to think of the long term effect. Having a baby when I was thirty would not have been the best decision. I could do it now, but now I am too old. This gal that has 14 children is a very selfish woman who is hoping for the generosity of other people. Lucky for her, she lives in California where there are resources and people willing to give her what she wants. I do want the best for the children but being raised by such a selfish mother is not going to be the best. I teach children with selfish mothers and it is a lose-lose situation. Right now I have a student who lives with her mother and her mother's boyfriend,who is on the list of sexual offenders for rape. This mother has 3 little girls and she surrounds them with people who are going to jail or who have been in jail. As my student told me one day, "Everyone in my family has been in jail at some time." Anyway, this child misses school for many reasons but all the time. I think she has been absent 15 days and tardy for 14 days. Her mother can't provide anything for our parties or our classroom but they got a Wii for Christmas and now this week, "Mom got us TVs for the car. She got two of them." But.. we needed a drink for our Valentine's party and they couldn't afford to provide that. When we had cold weather this fall, she didn't have a coat and "Mom doesn't have the money to buy me a coat." So, I bought a coat for her. On Monday she showed up in a new coat that Grandma got her.(We keep the coat in the room as an extra coat and another of my girls wears it at recess as her coat doesn't have a hood and is very light weight. This family also got a Wii for Christmas, yet my student wore the same shirt three days out of four this week.) You know, I think I got off topic but my mind is racing thinking about people and their children. I was raised in a single family household but my mom was anything but selfish. Parents need to put their children first. I read all the magazines that say your marriage and husband come first but I don't think that is true. Once you have children, they should come first. If you have a healthy family, you shouldn't have to choose who comes first as everything will be the same. You can love everyone. But kids are dependent. They need love and care and safety but they also need to have a parent there for them. OK enough for now but this has been weighing heavy on my heart.

Good Friends

Today we had our "Good Friends" get-together at school. At my school ,Third Grade has a program that we call "Good Friends". Each third grader is matched up with a community member and then every month we get together and have a party. In September we just played some word games and word searches while everyone gets to know one another. In December we make graham cracker "gingerbread" houses, although this year we didn't get to because of the weather. In January we played UNO and this month I got a little craft for us to make together. The music teacher helps out by preparing a 10 minute program where the kids sing or play their recorders or some such thing. Then in April we have an evening party where we invite the parents and the Good Friends can bring a guest and the children put on a musical. It is so much fun for the kids and the adults as well. For the teacher, it is lots of work but well worth it. I have so many older members of the community that I call my friends now, that if we didn't do this I would not even know who they are. When I found out that I was going to teach Third grade I was afraid of being in charge of the program but the first year I did it, my teaching partner had taught third grade a few years so she planned it and "I helped". The next year I was the only third grade teacher so we did things mostly the way she did with a few changes and the art teacher and the music teacher helped me. This year there is another third grade teacher but we are doing things pretty much the same as always. I knew this was an important part of our community but I didn't realize how much until I went to a former student's funeral and one of the pictures they showed on the slide show at the funeral was his good friend and him when he was in third grade. His good friend was there sitting with the family. That's when it hit me that this wasn't just good for kids, it was essential that we keep it up, no matter what. So. . . we have "Good Friends". This month the parent who had signed up for treats and napkins, cups, drink, and everything was helicoptered to the hospital in Omaha. The other parent signed up was the parents of my little girl that is non-verbal and I had forgotten to send a reminder about it earlier this week. I figured that last night was too late so I asked another mother, who graciously agreed, to bring treats and I took a bag of Chex mix and a vegetable pizza. Then the mother that was going to help and bring the drink couldn't come because her daughter threw up at lunch and she had to go home. This wasn't looking like the best meeting ever! But the librarian offered her aid to help me and that was a life saver. She manned the punch. The mother of my non-verbal student brought homemade cookies. The boys that I have for special reading set up the table and got the floor of the room cleaned. They were so careful to count out the napkins and forks. They even sat the forks in a fan design after I told them they had to look nice. We made the craft and then we had our snack and it was a huge success. I had three kids not there and three good friends couldn't come. When it was all over, everyone said it was a great time and they were so glad they came. It is important for kids everywhere to have as many people in their court as possible but for kids in our socioeconomic group, it is just essential. I am glad to be a part of it. I have fun and have also made some wonderful friends.

Friday the 13th

Well, I have almost made it through Friday the 13th. It has been a fun day. I did nothing and did not leave the house! If everyone and everything stays safe for the next 45 minutes, we will have made it. I did absolutely nothing today. Well, I did connect with several friends via telephone and computer. I made supper and I made a dessert for tomorrow, Valentine's Day. My significant other brought me a dozen roses tonight. They are very beautiful. I made supper for tonight so we will probably have the leftovers tomorrow. Sunday we are going to a supper at the church for our "special" meal.
No, I don't believe in the bad luck of Friday the 13th. I know that one day is just like another but I also know that if at 11:21 on any day, I can say I made it through, then it was a lucky day.
As for Valentine's Day, I think it has way too much importance attached to it. There were many Valentine's Days that I didn't have a special someone of the opposite sex and I still had good days. I got him a box of all nuts candy and some socks. Isn't that romantic! Last year I gave him a mp3 player. Have a good day tomorrow, whether or not you have a significant other of the opposite sex. Just enjoy the people you love. Do a random act of kindness. Or not so random. I took my elderly friend and neighbor out to get groceries before the storm and she was so grateful and I had fun with her. Don't forget to appreciate each and every moment that you have.

No School

Yeah. Today there is no school because of the snow, or at least the snow we are supposed to have. I know the children are disappointed because today would have been our Valentine's Day Party. They love the Valentine's Day party. Our school sells flowers that you can buy and give to other kids or whatever but if someone doesn't get a flower we buy one for them. I had eight kids that did not have flowers so I made a donation and they got flowers. The secretary fills out the card and she just put ?? for the from. One of my girls got so excited. She said that she had a secret admirer and that she thought it was from two boys. TWO BOYS??? This is a third grader. Already she is succumbing to the pressure of wanting boys to like her. Her aunt had a baby when she was in ninth grade so this put up a red flag for me. I told her that I knew who it was and it was just from someone at school who cares about her. They have decorated their boxes and planned the Valentines. They all wanted to show me which Valentine's they have given to which friend. They take it so seriously. We will have to have a party of some kind on Monday. They will still love it. I am so happy that they care so much about each other and I wish and hope that they can keep this closeness. Some groups do and some don't. One good thing, this class doesn't have too many transients. Most of them have been in the community for a long time. We had lesson the other day about why people move and how a community grows and gets better because of the people. Most of my kids have been in the same house their whole lives so this lesson was a little bit hard to teach but we were discussing why do people move. They came up with great answers like better weather, better jobs, to be close to family and so on. One girl raised her hand and her answer was "If you get kicked out of one state then you have to go to another state or if you are running from the law you have to go to a new place to live." Yes, yes that is true. I really don't know that she has any personal experience with this but she certainly knew that that was a reason you would move. The only reason any of them had moved was because of divorce. Kids are so fun and interesting but when you hear these things , it make me worry a little bit. This was the same girl, that when we were reading the book Anna's Blizzard and talked about how the teacher would stay with the families of the students, got this horrified expression on her face and told me that I couldn't come stay with their family because they had bugs in their food. NO she didn't want me to eat at her house. SO I hope that on a day like this when there is no school that she and the children in her circumstances are having good food and a good day. No School. I am going to enjoy it.

Following the Rules

What about just following the rules? I am a rule follower. If I am turning a corner, I put on my turn signal, even if there is not another car in sight. I buckle my seat belt. I pay my bills. I am on time to work and rarely ask to leave early. When I have an extra duty, I am always there on time and usually the first one to report for duty. If I am able, I follow the rules. Always have. It has gotten me nowhere. I am not rich. I am not my bosses favorite. I have won no awards for doing my job and being where I am supposed to be. In fact, it almost works against me. The people that are consistant about not following the rules are excused for some reason. On the rare occasion that I do not follow the rules, it is noticed. Mainly because it is so rare. Now, as the comment on my blog said, What about just following the rules? Yep. The world would go much smoother. No one would run stop signs, or speed, or drive under the influence. Many things would be different. Bills would be paid and our economy would be in much better shape. There would be no affairs or lying. God gave us the set of rules that would keep this world going and functioning. I think that part of the reason we are in such bad shape is that very few people can say they are rule followers. Jesus said to love our neighbor as ourself in addition to the ten commandments. If everyone followed that one rule, this world would look a whole lot different. Tomorrow I am going to a burial for a former friend. She was not a rule follower. She tried to break every social rule in the book. She chose an alternate live style in the 1950s, which definitely did not follow the rules. She went to the Service in WWII. Not all that common for women. She chose a profession that was all men and she did well at it. Her family was from New York and were friends with FDR and Eleanor, yet she chose to move to Nebraska. She did not back down for other people but stood to her beliefs. At one time, she and I were very good friends and she listened to all my woes. She was a very good listener. Then she started to get very possessive of me, and later of one of our other friends. She started lying to get her way and then our friendship ended. Now, I am going to meet with our other friend and be there when they put her in the ground. I feel sad but I don't really know why. Janny said it is the marking of time. I think she is right. What if she would have followed the rules? How different her life would have been.
Another part of "Why not follow the rules?" goes toward our judicial system and our police. One of my co-workers got picked up for DWI. This is not a good thing for a teacher. Should be a horrible thing and one to be avoided at all costs. But, when the court report came out it wasn't a DWI after all so there was hardly any punishment. I don't want this person to go to jail or lose his/her job but why doesn't this person have to follow the rules? Why isn't the punishment consistant? I saw a gal tonight that was accused of embezzeling thousands of dollars but when the court report came out a few weeks ago, she got a slap on the wrist. I am guessing she has already paid back the money but the sentence didn't mention restitution, so I don't know. She lives in a brand new house and drives a beautiful vehicle. Not following the rules paid off for her. I could go on forever but I am rambling. I just don't understand why rules are for some people and not for other people. This would be an easier place to live if everyone followed the rules. (Please don't comment about how so many things wouldn't be here if people followed the rules and how inventions and such came about because people didn't follow the rules. That is not what I am talking about. I am talking about rules for living and how to treat people and safety rules.)

Time is Precious.

Time is a precious commodity that we waste all too easily. Today would be Bradley's birthday. Brad was my littlest cousin but he was more like a nephew than a cousin. I went to his band events and his cross country events whenever I could. I loved spending time with him. He made me laugh. He was kind and loving and good. Too good. He was killed for being a Christian missionary at the age of 22. He really wanted to do it and was sure it was what God wanted him to do. I visited with him before he left and we had one of the greatest days. I miss him and love him still.

This week a friend was taken to the hospital for cancer. She is 49 years old. She doesn't have much time.

A gal from my church died yesterday. She was 59 and just died in her chair.

We need to love each other and let our special people know how we feel about them. Don't wait until tomorrow or until Valentine's Day to tell them. A box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers isn't what is important. Spend time with your love ones. Talk to them on the telephone. Know that if one of you would not see tomorrow, there would be no questions about how you felt and what was in your heart.

Let past hurts go. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." Those are not just words to say. What if God does forgive us they way we forgive others?

There are all kinds of cliches about time and how once a moment is gone it is gone but they are true. Don't wait until it is too late. Love your family and friends now.

Just some thoughts

I have been thinking about the character traits and wondering what has happened to our society. It seems as if most of the traits of good character as becoming associated with a weak person, when in actuality it takes a very strong person to stick to what is right and not to what is easy. Telling the truth is the trait I am thinking about today. I would give all young people this advice... if you meet someone and they start telling half truths or lies then get out the relationship as soon as you can. This goes for friends as well as significant others. It is just too hard to get out once a relationship is formed. I have a couple of friends that lie to me all the time. Out and out lies and some half truths or some stories with important details omitted are the norm when they talk to me. This is something I don't understand. If you don't want me to know then just tell me that is is none of my business. I really do appreciate the people that do always tell the truth and that is certainly the majority. I do know that if everyone told the whole truth our world would be a better place to be.